Rejoice, The Hummer Is Dead
Rejoice, The Hummer Is Dead / It might be the end of the world’s most phallically sad SUV. But has the damage been done?
You may have noticed (if this isn’t your first visit) I’ve gone eco with the warning signs in the air. I still hold that this is a natural phenomenon but I’m under the opinion that as the waters rise it’s better if those waters weren’t poison. This s an article that puts into words that I can’t find. Take a read through Mark and check if you agree if you don’t the lose of Jerry Falwell musta been devastating to you.
Way down, a full 27 percent from last year alone, which was already way down 22 percent from the year prior, with sales continuing to plummet as fast as gas prices are rising and Bush’s war is raging and Americans are generally snapping awake to the fact that dumping well over 100 bucks to fill the tank of this monster abomination every other day might not be the best way to waste their kid’s college fund.
…America feels slightly more wary, awake, a tad more environmentally aware, slightly more in touch with something resembling its soul. And the H2 — essentially the emblem of all that is/was wrong with Bush’s America — the bloat, the recklessness, the false machismo and unchecked waste and bigger-is-better senselessness — might very well end production entirely.
…Today, manufacturers are simply redesigning and rebranding their luxobarges as crossover vehicles, offering slightly improved handling and slightly improved fuel economy and not at all improved emissions and slightly less chance of flaming rollover death at the slightest need for emergency handling at any speed over about 20 mph, and hence many Americans somehow think that buying the newer, sleeker three-ton Chevy Suburban with 23 cup holders instead of the 2005 model with only 14 must be, you know, a healthy improvement.
Or perhaps it’s a remnant of the careless Boomer worldview, that all-American, use-it-before-it’s-gone attitude that spins on an axis of a truly horrible irony: The more we learn of our desperate environmental straits, the more we learn of dwindling oil reserves and the more we learn that our shiny happy United States might not be the responsible, beneficent global superpower we once dreamed it was, the more we say “screw it” and grab onto the last gasp of pleasurable excess and vice no matter the future repercussions, telling ourselves we might as well enjoy that stupid, chromed-out three-ton GMC Yukon Denali before the oil runs out and the terrorists eat my babies and the damn liberals change the laws and make us all drive Smart cars to the Tofu Hut in order to turn us all gay.
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